Unity in Diversity - Lessons from the Body

The concept of “Unity in Diversity” is a given in the Bahá’í Faith and a term that’s been bandied around so often, that we’re now seeing it in the non-Bahá’í world too.  The best known usage inside the Faith, is around the concept of the oneness of humanity, being likened to a garden, but recently I came across this quote (which I’ve broken in 3 parts) and had an entirely different understanding of what it means:

A unity in diversity of actions is called for, a condition in which different individuals will concentrate on different activities, appreciating the salutary effect of the aggregate on the growth and development of the Faith . . .

Think of the human body – a beautiful example of unity in diversity in action!  We need big toenails just as much as we need eyeballs and kneecaps and thumbs.  The big toenail doesn’t feel guilty it can’t see.  The kneecap isn’t depressed because it can’t pick things up.  Each part is important to the functioning of the whole (have you ever had a sore big toe nail?  The whole body suffers!).  Each part has a role to play, which is different from every other part.  We accept it without giving it any thought, because typically, the body functions without any conscious effort on our part.

That’s what our Bahá’í life needs to be like.

. . . because each person cannot do everything and all persons cannot do the same thing . . .

The Universal House of Justice has asked us to concentrate on 4 core activities:  Study Circles, Devotional Gatherings, Children’s Classes and Junior Youth programs, but that doesn’t mean that everyone has to do one or more of these activities the same as anyone else.

If you’re a big toenail, perhaps you will tutor a study circle, or put together the devotions, or teach the children’s classes and junior youth programs.

If you’re a kneecap, you might organize the activities (find the tutors, teachers and animators, order the books, call the students, parents etc.)

If you’re the eyeball, you might host the events or bake the cookies.

If you’re the thumb, you might provide transportation or child care.

If you’re the eyelash, you might pray for the success of the event.

If you’re the elbow, you might serve on the institutions that do the planning.

But how many of us try to do everything and either burn out or become inactive because they feel that what they have to offer isn’t appreciated, or isn’t what others are doing etc?

. . . This understanding is important to the maturity which, by the many demands being made upon it, the community is being forced to attain.  (Compilations, Promoting Entry by Troops, p. 17)

So the next time you are tempted to do it all, remember that it’s a sign of maturity to know which part of the whole you’re best at, recognize that you are a big toe  nail, and leave the work of the eyeball to the eyeball.

What are your thoughts?  Post your comments here:

The Need for Rest - a Bahá’í Perspective

By Susan Gammage

“You should certainly safeguard your nerves and force yourself to take time, and not only for prayer and meditation, but for real rest and relaxation”.

Even though this quote was written over 100 years ago, how much more true is it today, when many of us are trying to do the job of 3 people, living a fast-paced life and hardly have time to squeeze in time to serve the Faith the way we want to.  I often wonder how ‘Abdul-Bahá would live his life in our western bustle, so that I can get some clarity on this subject.

In the Bible, we’re told that when God was creating the world, “on the seventh day He rested.”  He knew that moderation was needed!  I find it interesting that in this quote, we’re told to “force” ourselves to take time for rest and relaxation!

Even the Guardian went to Switzerland every summer, in order to get what he needed to continue serving the Faith!  Many of us are able to get away on vacations each year, but we often book in every minute so we can see and do as much as we can.  Although a change is as good as a rest, it’s not the same as “real rest and relaxation.”  For that you need to “be still.”

After working and volunteering full tilt for many years in a row, my adrenals were shot.  It was as though my car had run out of gas, and instead of taking time to fill it, I opened the door and pushed the car along with my foot, until I couldn’t do that anymore either.  Now I am “forced” to take time for real rest and relaxation!  But wouldn’t it have been better if I’d heeded this advice earlier?

Having a “Type A” personality, with an addiction to busy-ness and perfectionism, I didn’t know how to rest and relax.  Work to me was fun!  And I would take it with me on my vacation.  Once I realized how important it was for my health, and finding quotes like these, I slowly started to implement changes.  At first, I took time to journal, which is a great stree reliever but it still engages both sides of the brain and isn’t “real rest and relaxation”.  So then I forced myself to sit down and watch a movie or a TV show.  My favorites include:

• M*A*S*H (I have the entire series which a friend taped for me!)
• Touched by an Angel
• 7th Heaven (I taped the entire series)
• Heartland (I can watch the entire series online)

Later I tried different crafts and settled (for now) on counted cross stitch (which I used to do in my youth).

And finally, I’ve booked out one day a week in my calendar for “me time”.

What’s been your experience with needing time to rest?  Post your comments here.

Click here for more quotes like these.

Finding our Way - A Baha’i Perspective

by Susan Gammage

We must not be content with simply following a certain course because we find our fathers pursued that course. It is the duty of everyone to investigate reality, and investigation of reality by another will not do for us.

In the movie “Fiddler on the Roof”, we hear clearly the longing for the security of tradition, and the prison it locks us into.

Who, day and night, must scramble for a living,
Feed a wife and children, say his daily prayers?
And who has the right, as master of the house,
To have the final word at home?

The Papa, the Papa! Tradition.
The Papa, the Papa! Tradition.

[GOLDE & MAMAS]
Who must know the way to make a proper home,
A quiet home, a kosher home?
Who must raise the family and run the home,
So Papa’s free to read the holy books?

The Mama, the Mama! Tradition!
The Mama, the Mama! Tradition!

[SONS]
At three, I started Hebrew school. At ten, I learned a trade.
I hear they’ve picked a bride for me. I hope she’s pretty.

The son, the son! Tradition!
The son, the son! Tradition!

[DAUGHTERS]
And who does Mama teach to mend and tend and fix,
Preparing me to marry whoever Papa picks?

The daughter, the daughter! Tradition!
The daughter, the daughter! Tradition!

As teens we chafe against it.  If we’ve been abused, we determine to do the opposite of what we’ve been taught, but in the end, many of us sink back into what we know.  It takes a lot of effort to truly break the chains of what we’ve been taught.  Sometimes they’re so enmeshed we think we’re thinking for ourselves, when in reality we’re just repeating what our culture teaches.

So if it’s “our duty to investigate reality”, without following what’s familiar and without looking to see how our neighbor is living, how then can we find our way?

I think we need to look to our hearts to give us the answer.  It’s the place where God resides and He certainly knows what’s best for us.  But it’s not always easy to hear our hearts, especially if it’s veiled with natural impurities such as: anger, lust, worldli¬ness, pride, lying, hypocrisy, fraud, self-love, etc.

The first step is to ask God to take these impurities, and transmute them into something else – in this case, focus, direction, certainty, faith and trust.

The second step is to use the 5 Steps of Prayer:

1st Step: Pray and meditate about it. Use the prayers of the Manifesta¬tions as they have the greatest power. Then remain in the silence of contemplation for a few minutes.

Many of us fail to wait and listen for God’s answer, after we say our prayers, forgetting that prayer is a 2-way conversation.  It’s like consulting with someone, where you lay out your problem before them and then go home, without waiting to hear their perspective or guidance.  We’ll never know how to change our lives if we don’t wait and listen for the answer.

Shoghi Effendi tells a story about building the gardens around the shrine of the Báb.  He said he didn’t have a clue what the end product would look like.  He would pray, get direction, act on it and then repeat the process the next day.  This is what we need to do too, if we want to forge a life different from our forefathers.

2nd Step: Arrive at a decision and hold this. This decision is usually born during the contemplation. It may seem almost impossible of ac¬complishment but if it seems to be as answer to a prayer or a way of solving the problem, then immediately take the next step.

It’s easy to make a decision but much harder to hold on to it.  Our hearts give us an answer and our minds second guess it.  The minute we move from our hearts to our minds, we can be sure we’re destined to continue to do things the same way we’ve always done them.   We know that God has our best interests at heart, so to let our minds disregard the answers we’re given is truly to turn away from God in pride, thinking we know better than He does.

3rd Step:  Have determination to carry the decision through. Many fail here. The decision, budding into determination, is blighted and in¬stead becomes a wish or a vague longing. When determination is born, immediately take the next step.

Determination is the virtue which will help you carry your decision through.  With determination comes the courage to act and the focus to take the steps necessary to move us forward.  So if we’re wavering here, we can give our uncertainty to God and ask Him to transmute it to determination.  We don’t have to do this alone.  God wants us to succeed!

4th Step: Have faith and confidence that the power will flow through you, the right way will appear, the door will open, the right thought, the right message, the right principle, or the right book will be given to you. Have confidence and the right thing will come to your need. Then, as you rise from prayer, take at once the 5th step.

Sometimes we take a step and then feel a little foolish.  Nothing seems to have changed.  You can’t see how this action will lead to the result you’ve been praying for.  This is where faith and confidence will help.  You know you’ve done what God suggested, so you can leave it up to Him to give you what you need next.  Watch for it!  It feels like magic when the right things appear!

5th Step: Act as though it had all been answered. Then act with tireless, ceaseless energy. And as you act, you, yourself, will become a mag¬net, which will attract more power to your being, until you become an unobstructed channel for the Divine power to flow through you.

I read a story once of a woman who was going on pilgrimage.  She had a date and the desire to go, but she didn’t have the money or the ticket.  She used this process, and as the days grew closer to her deadline, she made arrangements for someone to take care of her cat.  She packed her suitcase, watered her plants, arranged for the mail to be taken care of, and cancelled the newspaper delivery.  People told her she was crazy!  But she continued to take the steps in faith, trusting that the ticket would appear and just hours before she was to leave, it did, and she was able to go.  That’s the level of faith and action we’re called to do.

Many pray but do not remain for the last half of the first step. Some who meditate arrive at a decision, but fail to hold it. Few have the determination to carry the decision through, still fewer have the confidence that the right thing will come to their need.

But how many remember to act as though it had all been answered? How true are these words “Greater than the prayer is the spirit in which it is uttered” and greater than the way it is uttered is the spirit in which it is carried out.  (Shoghi Effendi, Remembrance of God, pp.  207-208).

Click here to see more quotes like these

Protection – a Bahá’í Perspective

by Susan Gammage

“Reliance on God is indeed the strongest and safest weapon”

Although this is a quote to inspire those who are trying to teach the Faith, it appeals to me, who often feels powerless in the face of abuse.  There were so many times when I was totally powerless against my oppressors.  They were bigger and stronger than I.  But when I found this quote, I realized I wasn’t on my own.  God was with me.  All I had to do was remember to turn to him.

It’s kind of like electricity – it’s always there, but until we plug something in, or flip a switch, we can’t access it.  It’s like that with God.

So now, whenever I’m feeling powerless, no matter what the reason, I turn to God, saying my favorite prayer:  “O God guide me, protect me.”

Divorce – a Bahá’í Perspective

by Susan Gammage, Baha’i Life Coach

In my Bahá’í-inspired life coaching practice, the topic of divorce occasionally comes up.  The Bahá’í Writings teach:

“We know that Bahá’u'lláh has very strongly frowned upon divorce; and it is really incumbent upon the Bahá’ís to make almost a superhuman effort not to allow a Bahá’í marriage to be dissolved.”  (Shoghi Effendi, Lights of Guidance, p. 227)

But the scariest quote to me has always been:

“. . . the partner who is the ’cause of divorce’ will ‘unquestionably’ become the ‘victim of formidable calamities’”.  (Universal House of Justice, Lights of Guidance, p. 390)

When my own marriage ended in divorce, I often asked myself if I was the cause, for certainly my life post-divorce has been fraught with tests.  I’ve just exchanged one set of tests for another.

Recently I’ve been reading “When Parents Hurt” by Joshua Coleman, and in the appendix at the end of the book, he writes an article from the perspective of one man to another, which speaks poignantly to the issues I’ve wrestled with (they aren’t so very different from my own perspective).  I’d like to copy it here for your enjoyment.  It’s reprinted with permission of the author.

When a Family Man Thinks Twice
Joshua Coleman, Ph.D.
San Francisco Chronicle
Sunday Section, Father’s Day 2000

You get married. And at some point you don’t know if the marriage is going to work. And since it’s your first marriage, you feel discouraged and hopeless and start believing that your marriage looks nothing like the ones on TV or in US magazine. And you think how nice it would be to have a marriage like that, built on friendship, hiking, and an active sex life.

And since it’s a marriage with children, you don’t know what it feels like to be divorced with children, and figure it might not be that bad. It’s a tradeoff. And people say everything in life is a tradeoff, so there must be something worthwhile about tradeoffs.

And you start thinking about it after you leave the movie theater because your marriage once looked like the movie marriage, at least when you were  first dating. Or, maybe the movie is realistic, with lots of alienated, confused adults, but, even those movies feature somebody who’s falling in love, like the two teenagers in American Beauty. And so you compare your marriage to the teenagers in American Beauty and wonder how you got as far off the track as Kevin Spacey, and do you need to get a GTO and start smoking pot again to find yourself, even if you’re smart enough to datesomebody your own age instead of your daughter’s friend?

And maybe you realize that the same actors you’re comparing your marriage to on the screen, are having as much trouble in their marriages off the screen as you are having in yours, at home. And so you stop comparing yourself to their happy on screen marriages, and compare yourself to them as happy divorced actors who have their kids part-time and live in LA or New York or on their ranches in Montana.

And at the playground, watching your kids go down the slide with your wife, you end up sitting by a divorced father. And if you’ve never been divorced, you won’t see his loneliness as he stretches his legs and watches and waves at his children because he looks like you, when you wave and smile at yours playing on the swings, or that circular spinning thing that makes you nauseous when you have the poor judgment to get on it. And you don’t see that this very same child on the swing set saying look at me look at me will have to be returned to her mother’s house like a videotape by six because that was the time agreed to in the agreement.

And you may not know the sadness he feels returning that child to her mother as she closes the door to him like a vault while his kid waves, sad, bewildered or worse, happy to be back with her mom and now oblivious of him, her father.

And you, who walk in and out of your home every day with your wife and kids, can’t know what it’s like to sit in your car and watch the place you lived in as family, knowing your child is in there, laughing, talking loudly, or waving briefly at you from the window like she does when her uncle leaves.

And since you are married, and wake up every day to your child’s loud laughter and endless questions and requests and frustrations and hurts, you can’t contemplate the deadwood barrenness of a house deprived of that sound.

And you wouldn’t know that going home to that silence, a silence you craved many times while married, is a silence found more often on hillsides, after a large-scale fire.

And being married, you and your wife may have just put your child to bed with Harry Potter or the Little Engine That Could or other magical children’s stories that teach the value of never giving up and struggling
against the odds. And as the evening goes on, you end up in one of those god awful fights with her that leave you feeling alone and why should you have to put up with this as hard as you work and try. And it’s hard to feel like nobody else has it as bad or understands what you feel except perhaps the woman you’ve begun to have an affair with who always says the right thing and makes you feel good about yourself, which, of course, you deserve. And the sex with the woman you’re having an affair with is unbelievable because sex is always unbelievable in affairs or else why would anybody bother?

And since you’re a married father, who goes on vacations with his kids and helps them with their soccer, homework or playground politics, you may underestimate the feelings of seeing your child walk out of the house you once lived in as family, holding the hand of your ex-wife’s new husband.

Perhaps you’re surprised by the stab of betrayal when you hear your child refer to your ex-wife’s new husband as “my other daddy.” And even though you’ve had enough psychotherapy to start a clinic on both coasts, you watch yourself get mad and hurt and state that she Does not, Can not and Will not have another daddy because that is a position only you can fill and if she ever brings up that phrase again, something really bad is going to happen to somebody, you’re just not sure who.

And you begin to wonder if anything is worth this kind of pain. Is anything worth having your baby, your child, your self, handed to you and ripped back out like an assembly line robot on a killing spree, week after week after week after week? And friends and family and professionals say it will get better over time and it does get better because you eventually get better at finding new and improved ways to blind and numb yourself. And people will tell you this change is called growth. And you know that must mean growth is highly overrated.

And you always swore you would be a great dad and you have been but you
better set your sorry ass down with divorce and give thanks for every other weekend or summer visitation or some other version of fatherhood that has nothing to do with family and everything to do with an arrangement so dubious only a court can invent it. And maybe when your kids grow up and go off to college or move out you’ll feel better. But then maybe you won’t.

Maybe their new independence will just free them up to see your limitations even more clearly.

And though you would never do it, you come to understand those lost fathers, marginalized through their own mistakes or a lousy arrangement, moving miles away and rarely calling, leaving their kids bobbing and drifting like toys thrown from the back of a moving boat.  And how these fathers get struck dead and dumb years later when there’s an angry and betrayed call from a child who’s now a teenager or an adult. And how these dads stumble out an excuse that tries to be an apology but ends up blaming the child and the ex-wife, and leaves the kid glad the father wasn’t around in the first place no wonder mom wanted out.

And maybe you’d never let it get to that point and you do need to leave your marriage. Maybe the smoking stacked years of hurt and resentment are sooting the air you and your family breathe and no priest or rabbi or therapist can ever reverse it because you already tried all that. And you end up falling in love with someone new because she reminds you of all the qualities you love best; those of your children, your closest friends and you hate to admit it but - yeah, those of your ex-wife.

And then, whether it’s the right thing or the wrong thing, better or worse, you look back. And at some point, your kids ask when you and mom are going to live together again. And though they eventually stop asking, they won’t stop hoping. And they carry that hope the way you carry your love for them - soft, constant, and close to the surface. And no matter how awful it was to be married and how grateful you are to be out, and how much getting out was the right decision, some part of you may always wonder, was there something else I could have done?  Something?”

Dr. Coleman is a psychologist with offices in San Francisco and Oakland, California. He is the author of “WHEN PARENTS HURT: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don’t Get Along” (HarperCollins), “MARRIED WITH TWINS: Life, Love, and the Pursuit of Marital Harmony” “The Marriage Makeover: Finding Happiness in Imperfect Harmony.” and “The Lazy Husband: How to Get Men to Do More Parenting and Housework.” Call him at 510 547 6500 or visit him at www.drjoshuacoleman.com

I’d like to end with a quote from the Bahá’í Writings:

“He feels that you should by all means make every effort to hold your marriage together, especially for the sake of the children, who, like all children of divorced parents, cannot but suffer from conflicting loyalties, for they are deprived of the blessing of a father and a mother in one home, to look after their interests and love them jointly.” (Shoghi Effendi, Lights of Guidance, p. 227)

What’s been your experience with divorce?  Post your comments here:

Why Does Life Have To Hurt So Much? - A Baha’i Perspective

By Susan Gammage, Bahá’í Life Coach

Why does life have to hurt so much?  This is a question I often hear in my Bahá’í-inspired life coaching practice.  The Bahá’í Writings tell us:

Suffering is both a reminder and a guide. It stimulates us better to adapt ourselves to our environmental conditions, and thus leads the way to self improvement. In every suffering one can find a meaning and a wisdom. But it is not always easy to find the secret of that wisdom. It is sometimes only when all our suffering has passed that we become aware of its usefulness. What man considers to be evil turns often to be a cause of infinite blessings.  (Shoghi Effendi, Unfolding Destiny, p. 434.)

Here is a story that came in my email today, followed by my all time favorite story.  I hope they give you comfort.

A Refiner of Silver

Malachi 3:3 says: “He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver”. This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn’t mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says:  “He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.”  She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, “How do you know when the silver is fully refined?”

He smiled at her and answered, “Oh, that’s easy — when I see my image in it.”

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

Another quote from the Bahá’í Writings:

You are encouraged to continue to keep in mind the spiritual dimension of your struggles. We are assured by ‘Abdu’l-Bahá in the following words:  “The more difficulties one sees in the world the more perfect one becomes. The more you plough and dig the ground the more fertile it becomes. The more you cut the branches of a tree the higher and stronger it grows. The more you put the gold in the fire the purer it becomes. The more you sharpen the steel by grinding the better it cuts. Therefore, the more sorrows one sees the more perfect one be¬comes. That is why, in all times, the Prophets of God have had tribula¬tions and difficulties to withstand. The more often the captain of a ship is in the tempest and difficult sailing the greater his knowledge be¬comes. Therefore I am happy that you have had great tribulations and difficulties… Strange it is that I love you and still I am happy that you have sorrows.”      (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Star of the West, Vol. XIV, No. 2, p. 41.)

Just Clay!
Author Unknown - submitted by Daryoush Yazdani, Japan

A couple vacationing in Europe went strolling down a little street and saw a quaint little gift shop with a beautiful teacup in the window. The lady collected teacups and she wanted this one for her collection, so she went
inside to pick up the teacup, and as the story goes the teacup spoke and said:

“I want you to know that I have not always looked like this. It took the process of pain to bring me to this point. You see, there was a time when I was just clay and the master came and he pounded me and he squeezed me and he kneaded me and I screamed: “STOP THAT”. But he just smiled and he said, “Not yet”.

Then he took me and put me on the wheel and I went round and round and round and round … and while I was spinning and getting dizzier and dizzier I screamed again and I said, “Please get me off this thing … please get me off!!!” And the master was looking at me and he was smiling, as he said, “Not yet”.

Then he took me and walked toward the oven and he shut the door and turned up the heat and I could see him through the window of the oven and it was getting hotter and hotter and I thought, “He’s going to burn me to death”.
And I started pounding on the inside of the oven and I said “Master, let me out, let me out, let me out”, and I could see that he was smiling as he said “Not yet”.

Then he opened the door and I was fresh and free and he took me out of the oven and he put me on the table and then he got some paint and a paintbrush. And he started dabbing me and making swirls all over me and I started to gag and I said: “Master, stop it … stop it … stop it please … you’re making me gag” and he just smiled as he said “Not yet”.

Then very gently he picked me up again and he started walking toward the oven and I said, “Master, NO! Not again, pleeeeease”. He opened the oven door and he slipped me inside and he shut the door and this time he turned the heat up twice as hot as before and I thought. “He’s going to kill me”, and I looked through the window of the oven and I started to pound saying, “Master … Master, please let me out … please let me out … let me out… let me out”. And I could see that he was smiling, but I also noticed a tear trickle down his cheek as I watched him mouth the words.
“Not yet!”

Just as I thought I was about to die, the door opened and he reached in ever so gently and took me out, fresh and free and he went and placed me on a high shelf and he said: “There, I have created what I intended. Would you like to see yourself?” I said “Yes”, so he handed me a mirror and I looked and I looked again and I said, “That’s not me, I’m just a lump of clay” And he said: “Yes, that IS you, but it took the process of pain to bring you to this place. “You see, had I not worked you when you were clay, then you would have dried up. If I had not subjected you to the
stress of the wheel, you would have crumbled. If I had not put you into the heat of the oven you would have cracked. If I had not painted you there would be no color in your life. But, it was the second oven that gave you the strength to endure. And now you are everything that I intended you to be - from the beginning.”

And I, the tea cup, heard myself saying something I never thought I would hear myself saying: “Master, forgive me, I did not trust you, I thought you were going to harm me, I did not know you had a glorious future and a hope for me. I was too shortsighted, but I want to thank you. I want to thank you for suffering. I want to thank you for the process of pain. Here I am! I give you myself - fill me, pour from me, use me as you see fit. I really want to be a vessel that brings you glory within my life”

I’d like to conclude with a quote from the Bahá’í Writings:

Naturally there will be periods of distress and difficulty, and even severe tests; but if the person turns firmly towards the Divine Manifestation, studies carefully His spiritual teachings and receives the blessings of the Holy Spirit, he will find that in reality these tests and difficulties have been the gifts of God to enable him to grow and develop.

Thus you might look upon your own difficulties in the path of service. They are the means of your spirit growing and developing. You will suddenly find that you have conquered many of the problems which upset you, and then you will wonder why they should have troubled you at all. (Shoghi Effendi, Living the Life, pp. 35-36.)

What are your experiences with painful tests?  Post your comments here:

The Secret to Increasing Bounties in Your Life - A Baha’i Perspective

by Susan Gammage, Baha’i Life Coach

Often in my Baha’i-inspired life coaching practice, when people are focused on all the things that are going wrong in their lives, I encourage them to make a list of all the things they are grateful for.

Gratitude is one of the most important virtues.  The Baha’i Writings tell us that by being grateful, we recieve more of the good things in life:

Be thou happy and well pleased and arise to offer thanks to God, in order that thanksgiving may conduce to the increase of bounty.  (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Tablets of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, p. 484.)

And that we can never thank God enough:

If we should offer a hundred thousand thanksgivings every moment to the threshold of God . . . we would fail to express our gratitude sufficiently. (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 37.)

How true it is!

Today, I’d like to share a 3 minute movie that captures the essence of gratitude more than anything I’ve ever seen. The words, the music, the photographs, in a word are…BEAUTIFUL!

So if you want to make your heart smile, just click here to watch. And don’t forget to forward this to everyone you know and love. It’ll make their day!

What makes you grateful?  Post your comments here:

Suicide - A Baha’i Perspective

By Susan Gammage, Bahá’í Life Coach

Some of my life coaching clients have told me how tired they are of this life, and many of them have even considered ending their lives to end the intense suffering they feel, and hasten the intense longing to be in the next world.  They often feel very guilty for these feelings, knowing that the act of suicide is strongly condemned in the Baha’i teachings, (Shoghi Effendi, Lights of Guidance, p. 203) and alongside the other world religions, it is “forbidden”.

They want to know why it’s forbidden:

• God Who is the Author of all life can alone take it away, and dispose of it the way he deems best.  (Universal House of Justice, Lights of Guidance, p. 203)

• Whoever commits suicide endangers his soul, and will suffer spiritually as a result in the other worlds beyond.’ (Universal House of Justice, Lights of Guidance, p. 203)

And what they can do when they’re feeling this way:

• You must not injure yourselves or commit suicide…Should anyone at any time encounter hard and perplexing times, he must say to himself, “This will soon pass.” Then will he be calm and quiet. In all my calamity and difficulties I used to say to myself, “This will pass away”. Then I became patient. If anyone cannot be patient and cannot endure, and if he wishes to become a martyr than let him arise in service to the Cause of God. It will be better for him if he attains to martyrdom in His path.  (’Abdul-Bahá, Star of the West, Vol. 12, No 181, p. 280)

• The House of Justice admonishes you to put all thought of suicide and death out of your mind and concentrate on prayer and effort to serve the Cause of Bahá’u'lláh.  (Universal House of Justice, Lights of Guidance, p. 203)

• The House of Justice admonishes you to put all thought of suicide out of your mind and instead to concentrate on the outpourings of Baha’u'llah’s grace which have encompassed all mankind, and strive to use the tests you face as a means for your growth and development. (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer 13 December 1988)

They want to know they aren’t alone:

• That honorable personage has been so much subjected to the stress and pain of this world that his highest wish became deliverance from it. Such is this mortal abode — a storehouse of afflictions and suffering. It is negligence that binds man to it for no comfort can be secured by any soul in this world, from monarch down to the least subject. If once it should offer man a sweet cup, a hundred bitter ones will follow it and such is the condition of this world. The wise man therefore does not attach himself to this mortal life and does not depend upon it; even at some moments he eagerly wishes death that he may thereby be freed from these sorrows and afflictions. Thus it is seen that some, under extreme pressure of anguish, have committed suicide.  (’Abdul-Bahá, Baha’i World Faith, p. 378)

They feel comforted to know that even the Manifestations of God longed to be delivered from this world:

• Grant that the day of attaining Thy holy presence may be fast approaching.  (The Báb, Bahá’í Prayers, p. 165)

• Hasten, by Thy grace and bounty, my passing, O my Lord … (Bahá’u'lláh, Prayers and Meditations, p. 18)

They want to know what will happen to them if they do kill themselves:

• As to him rest assured; he will be immersed in the ocean of pardon and forgiveness and will become the recipient of bounty and favor.  (’Abdul-Bahá, Baha’i World Faith, p. 378)

• The manner in which the Supreme Being, in His justice as well as in His mercy, will deal with every individual soul is a mystery unknown to us on this earthly plane.  (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, December 21, 1978)

They want to know that God cares about them:

• I sorrow for thee in thy grief, and lament with thee in thy tribulation… I bear witness to the ser¬vices thou hast rendered Me, and testify to the various troubles thou hast sustained for My sake. All the atoms of the earth declare My love for thee.  (Bahá’u'lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá’u'lláh, p. 309)

• Ye have tolerated the censure of the enemies for the sake of My love and have steadfastly endured in My Path the grievous cruelties which the ungodly have inflicted upon you. Unto this I Myself bear witness, and I am the All-Knowing.  (Bahá’u'lláh, Tablets of Bahá’u'lláh, p. 246)

• Know thou that God is with thee under all conditions. (’Abdul-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdul-Bahá, p. 122)

• With all my soul and spirit, I am thy companion at all moments. Know thou this of a certainty!  (Abdu’l-Baha, Tablets of Abdu’l-Baha v3, p. 558)

• O my well-beloved, deeply spiritual sister! Day and night thou livest in my memory. Whenever I remember thee my heart swelleth with sadness and my regret groweth more intense. Grieve not, for I am thy true, thy unfailing comforter. Let neither despondency nor despair becloud the serenity of thy life or restrain thy freedom. These days shall pass away. We will, please God, in the Abha Kingdom and beneath the sheltering shadow of the Blessed Beauty, forget all these our earthly cares and will find each one of these base calumnies amply compensated by His expressions of praise and favour. From the beginning of time sorrow and anxiety, regret and tribulation, have always been the lot of every loyal servant of God. Ponder this in thine heart and consider how very true it is. Wherefore, set thine heart on the tender mercies of the Ancient Beauty and be thou filled with abiding joy and intense gladness…. (Compilations, Bahiyyih Khánum, p. 7)

They want to know that this despair will get better:

• Sorrow not if, in these days and on this earthly plane, things contrary to your wishes have been ordained and manifested by God, for days of blissful joy, of heavenly delight, are assuredly in store for you. Worlds, holy and spiritually glorious, will be unveiled to your eyes. You are destined by Him, in this world and hereafter, to partake of their benefits, to share in their joys, and to obtain a portion of their sustaining grace. To each and every one of them you will, no doubt, attain.  (Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 329)

• The darkness of this gloomy night shall pass away.   (’Abdul-Bahá, Baha’i Scriptures, p. 547)

• These are the darkest hours before the break of day. Peace, as promised, will come at night’s end.  (The Universal House of Justice, Ridván Message150, 1993)

• Do not despair, nay be assured that a glorious future awaits you all, more brilliant than any you can imagine.  (Shoghi Effendi, The Light of Divine Guidance v I, p. 97)

They want to know what to say to combat these feelings:

• Is there any Remover of difficulties save God? Say: Praised be God! He is God! All are His servants, and all abide by His bidding!   (The Báb, Baha’i Prayers, p. 27)  Tell them to repeat it five hundred times, nay, a thousand times, by day and by night, sleeping and waking . . .   (Adib Taherzadeh, The Child of the Covenant, p. 63)

• O Lord! Thou art the Remover of every anguish and the Dispeller of every affliction. Thou art He Who banisheth every sorrow and setteth free every slave, the Redeemer of every soul. O Lord! Grant deliverance through Thy mercy, and reckon me among such servants of Thine as have gained salvation. (The Báb, Baha’i Prayers, p. 28)

• Protect us from what lieth in front of us and behind us, above our heads, on our right, on our left, below our feet and every other side to which we are exposed. Verily, Thy protection over all things is unfailing.  (The Báb, Baha’i Prayers, p. 134)

• Dispel my grief by Thy bounty and Thy generosity, O God, my God, and banish mine anguish through Thy sovereignty and Thy might.  (Bahá’u'lláh, Baha’i Prayers, p. 25)

• O my Lord, my Beloved, my Desire! Befriend me in my loneliness and accompany me in my exile. Remove my sorrow. . . (’Abdul-Bahá, Baha’i Prayers, p. 31)

• O God! Refresh and gladden my spirit. Purify my heart. Illumine my powers. I lay all my affairs in Thy hand. Thou art my Guide and my Refuge. I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved; I will be a happy and joyful being. O God! I will no longer be full of anxiety, nor will I let trouble harass me. I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life.  O God! Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself. I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord.  (’Abdul-Bahá, Baha’i Prayers, p. 151)

• In the darksome night of despair, my eye turneth expectant and full of hope to the morn of Thy boundless favor and at the hour of dawn my drooping soul is refreshed and strengthened in remembrance of Thy beauty and perfection. (’Abdul-Bahá, Baha’i Prayers, p. 30)

• He urges you to persevere and add up your accomplishments, rather than to dwell on the dark side of things. Everyone’s life has both a dark and bright side. The Master said: turn your back to the darkness and your face to Me.  (Shoghi Effendi, Unfolding Destiny, p. 457)

Family and friends want to know why their loved ones might have felt they had to do it:

• Thus it is seen that some, under extreme pressure of anguish, have committed suicide. (’Abdul-Bahá, Bahá’í World Faith, p. 378)

• …That honourable man hath been so subjected to the stress and strain of this world that his greatest wish was for deliverance from it. Such is this mortal abode: a storehouse of afflic¬tions and suffering. It is ignorance that binds man to it, for no comfort can be secured by any soul in this world, from monarch down to the most humble commoner. If once this life should offer a man a sweet cup, a hundred bitter ones will follow; such is the condition of this world. The wise man, therefore, doth not attach himself to this mortal life and doth not depend upon it; at some moments, even, he eagerly wisheth for death that he may thereby be freed from these sorrows and afflictions. (’Abdul-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdul-Bahá, p. 200)

• It is too bad that young and promising men . . . should take away their life at a moment of despair.  (Shoghi Effendi, Lights of Guidance, p. 203)

When suicidal feelings are part of a mental Illness:

• It is very hard to be subject to any illness, particularly a mental one. However, we must always remember these illnesses have nothing to do with our spirit or our inner relation to God.  (Shoghi Effendi, Lights of Guidance, p. 281)

Survivors want to know the Baha’i attitude toward those who commit suicide:

• Although suicide has been strongly condemned in the teachings, this does not mean that a person has ceased to be a Baha’i because he committed suicide, and he should certainly be given a Baha’i funeral.  (from a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to a National Spiritual Assembly 9 December 1984)

• A Baha’i is certainly free to pray for those who have passed on regardless of the cause of their death, using the words of any of the prayers of his choice which have been revealed through the bounty of God. (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, December 21, 1978)

What can those that remain behind, do?

• The Universal House of Justice was deeply saddened to learn of the tragic deaths of your daughter…Such a senseless cutting short of the lives of capable young people who have so much promise before them is a loss to mankind and an agonizing trial for those to whom they were near and dear.  You ask what you, as a Baha’i, can do to assist the progress of their souls. The House of Justice has asked us to say that ‘Abdu’l-Bahá has stated that good works performed in the names of those who have passed on assist their progress in the next life. Therefore, if you will consecrate to their memory your services to your fellow human beings, and, above all, your efforts to teach the Message of Baha’u'llah, you may be sure that this will rejoice them in the worlds beyond.    (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer 10 August 1988)

If you are feeling suicidal, please get help!

What are your thoughts?  Post your comments here:

The Secret to Handling Criticism and Put Downs - A Baha’i Perspective

By Susan Gammage, Baha’i Life Coach

I’ve had several clients in my Bahá’í-inspired life coaching practice, hurt by comments made by other Bahá’í friends and family members.  In my role as their life coach, I’ve pointed out some spiritual principles which can help govern their behaviour.  I’ve compiled a list of their questions, comment and concerns, and quotes from the Bahá’í Writings which address them.  Hope it gives you a perspective to help you deal with these issues, which are no doubt occurring in your lives too.

Something in my voice is setting off alarms in people and they have melt downs.  What do I do?

• The members . . . must learn to express their views frankly, calmly, without passion or rancour. They must also learn to listen to the opinions of their fellow members without taking offence or belittling the views of another. Bahá’í consultation is not an easy process. It requires love, kindliness, moral courage and humility. Thus no member should ever allow himself to be prevented from expressing frankly his view because it may offend a fellow member; and, realizing this, no member should take offence at another member’s statements.  (Universal House of Justice, Lights of Guidance, p. 179)

Why do friends criticize and put me down?

• Perhaps the greatest test Bahá’ís are ever subjected to is from each other.  (Shoghi Effendi, Lights of Guidance, p. 601.)

• . . . if we are very sensitive, or if we are in some way brought up in a different environment from the Bahá’ís amongst whom we live, we naturally see things differently and may feel them more acutely; and the other side of it is that the imperfec¬tions of our fellow-Bahá’ís can be a great trial to us.  (Shoghi Effendi, Lights of Guidance, p. 604.)

• Generally speaking nine-tenths of the friends’ troubles are because they don’t do the Bahá’í thing, in relation to each other, to the administrative bodies or in their personal lives. (Shoghi Effendi, Unfolding Destiny, p.454.)

How can I behave towards them when they hurt me?

• . . . if a person falls into errors for a hundred-thousand times he may yet turn his face to you, hopeful that you will forgive his sins; for he must not become hopeless, neither grieved nor despondent. This is the conduct and the manner of the people of Baha’. (Abdu’l-Baha, Tablets of Abdu’l-Baha v2, p. 436)

• . . . for the sake of the Master they should be ever ready to overlook each other’s mistakes, apologize for harsh words they have uttered, forgive and forget. He strongly recommends to you this course of action. (Shoghi Effendi, Lights of Guidance, p. 601.)

• . . . often our severest tests come from each other . . . and if they happen, remedy them through love. (Shoghi Effendi, Unfolding Destiny, p.  454.)

• You should not allow the remarks made by the Bahá’ís to hurt or depress you, but should forget the personalities, and arise to do all you can, yourself, to teach the Faith. (Shoghi Effendi, Unfolding Destiny, p. 462.)

• . . . if you close your eyes to the failings of others, and fix your love and prayers upon Bahá’u'lláh, you will have the strength to weather this storm, and will be much better for it in the end, spiritually. Although you suffer, you will gain a maturity that will enable you to be of greater help to both your fellow Bahá’ís and your children. (Shoghi Effendi, Lights of Guidance, p. 604.)

• . . . turning a sin-covering eye to the faults of others, and striv¬ing in our own inmost selves to purify our lives in accordance with the divine teachings. (From a letter written by the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, July 22, 1981.)

• Great love and patience are needed towards new believers, especially those who have come from very troubled backgrounds.  (From a letter written by the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer July 22, 1981.)

• Concerning the attitude of some Bahá’ís, who seem at times to be insensitive and unsupportive, all we can do is to try to follow the patient example of the Master, bearing in mind that each believer is but one of the servants of the Almighty who must strive to learn and grow. The absence of spiritual qualities, like darkness, has no exist¬ence in itself. As the light of spirituality penetrates deep into the hearts, this darkness gradually dissipates and is replaced by virtue. Under¬standing this, and that the believers are encouraged to be loving and patient with one another, it will be clear that you too are called upon to exercise patience with the friends who demonstrate immaturity, and to have faith that the power of the Word of God will gradually effect a transformation in individual believers and in the Bahá’í community as a whole.  (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, 23 October, 1994)

What can I do when it’s the Assembly who has reacted negatively?

• Your letters have been read with great sympathy by the House of Justice. You have written eloquently about the pain and isolation felt by yourself and other believers, particularly women, when faced with a lack of response from those very Assemblies which Bahá’u'lláh has asked us to consider as loving parents. From such bodies, one longs for understanding and, beyond that, for encouragement and love.  When we feel that this is missing, our own reactions may include feelings of disillusionment and alienation. In addition, there are other issues which arise within our communities which cannot be dealt with through a decision per se but which require, for their resolution, growth and changes of attitude on the part of the friends. When progress is slow or appears to be blocked, we may feel the urge to distance ourselves from the friends and the institutions, and despite our best inten¬tions we may find ourselves almost involuntarily withdrawing into non-responsive, non-encouraging modes of our own. We must struggle with such promptings from within, setting our sights on the lofty ex¬ample set by the Greatest Holy Leaf who, throughout a life replete with severe tests, chose not to take offence at the actions or lack of actions of other souls and, with full and radiant heart, continued to bestow on them love and encouragement.  (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice, 25 October, 1994.)

• As you know, there can be many reasons for Assemblies not to respond to the believers. Undoubtedly, in some cases, it is because the friends and the Assemblies are struggling with issues on the fron¬tier of their spiritual growth. Such a process can lead to tremendous development on both the individual and the collective levels. Sometimes we can facilitate this process of spiritual growth for individuals, and of maturation for Local and National Assemblies, by viewing these situations not as a problem but as opportunities for development. Tak¬ing part in this process should be a source of joy to us since we are, in effect, helping to build the kingdom of God on Earth. Nevertheless, patience is needed, particularly when it involves a subject that is close to our hearts, and when it seems that progress on the matter is lagging or has ceased entirely. We must maintain our confidence that the divinely ordained administrative system given to us by Bahá’u'lláh, and the inspiration of the Creative Word, will enable us to rise to these challenges. (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, 25 October, 1994.)

Not sure how you can apply these quotes from the Bahá’í Writings to your own life?  Coaching can help!  Contact me to arrange for a free 30 minute session.

How has this been helpful?  Post your comments here:

Suffering Through Tests - a Bahá’í Perspective

by Susan Gammage, Baha’i Life Coach

The whole world is suffering it seems, and for those who are conscious of it, the feeling can be excruciatingly painful.  In my Bahá’í-inspired life coaching practice, I often work with people who are acutely aware of their pain, and desperately searching reasons for it.  It’s so much easier for them to believe that somehow they’ve caused it because of things they’ve done, than to believe that it’s the result of Divine intervention.  Here are some of the questions I hear, and answers from the Bahá’í Writings.

I must have done something really bad for all these tests to be happening to me.

• If Khidr did wreck the vessel on the sea, yet in this wrong there are a thousand rights.  (Bahá’u'lláh, Seven Valleys, p. 26.)

It’s all my fault.

• Tests are benefits from God, for which we should thank Him. Grief and sorrow do not come to us by chance, they are sent to us by the Divine Mercy for our own perfecting.   (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Paris Talks, p. 50.)

• . . . the Almighty hath tried, and will continue to try, his servants, so that light may be distinguished from darkness, truth from falsehood, right from wrong, guidance from error, happiness from misery, and roses from thorns. Even as He hath revealed: ‘Do men think when they say “We believe” they shall be let alone and not be put to proof?’ (Bahá’u'lláh, Kitáb-i-Íqán, pp. 8-9.)

• . . . we must realize that everything which happens is due to some wisdom and that nothing happens without a reason.  (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 46.)

• Tests are a means by which a soul is measured as to its fitness and proven out by its own acts. God knows its fitness beforehand, and also its unpreparedness, but man, with an ego, would not believe himself unfit unless proof were given him.  (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Star of the West, Book 4, Vol. VI,  #6, p. 108.)

• And yet, how often we seem to forget the clear and repeated warnings of our beloved Master, who, in particular during the concluding years of His mission on earth, laid stress on the “severe mental tests” that would inevitably sweep over His loved ones of the West - tests that would purge, purify and prepare them for their noble mission in life.  (Shoghi Effendi, Bahá’í Administration, p. 50.)

• In such an afflicted time, when mankind is bewildered and the wisest of men are perplexed as to the remedy, the people of Bahá, who have confidence in His unfailing grace and divine guidance, are assured that each of these tormenting trials has a cause, a purpose, and a definite result, and all are essential instruments for the establishment of the immutable Will of God on earth. In other words, on the one hand humanity is struck by the scourge of His chastisement which will inevitably bring together the scattered and vanquished tribes of the earth; and on the other, the weak few whom He has nurtured under the protection of His loving guidance are, in this Formative Age and period of transition, continuing to build amidst these tumultuous waves an impregnable stronghold which will be the sole remaining refuge for those lost multitudes.  (Universal House of Justice, Compilation of Compilations, Vol. 1, #326, pp. 166-167.)

Why can’t life be easier?  Why does everything have to be so difficult?

• But for the tribulations which are sustained in Thy path, how could Thy true lovers be recognized; and were it not for the trials which are born for love of Thee, how could the station of such as yearn for Thee he revealed? Thy might beareth me witness! The companions of all who adore Thee are the tears they shed, and the comforters of such as seek Thee are the groans they utter, and the food of them who haste to meet Thee is the fragments of their broken hearts.  (Bahá’u'lláh, Prayers and Meditations, p. 155.)

• Were it not for tests, pure gold could not be distinguished from the impure. Were it not for tests, the courageous could not be separated from the cowardly. Were it not for tests, the people of faithfulness could not be known from the disloyal.   (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Divine Art of Living, p. 87.)

• While a man is happy he may forget his God; but when grief comes and sorrows overwhelms him, then will he remember his Fa¬ther who is in Heaven, and who is able to deliver him from his humiliations.   (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Paris Talks, pp. 50-51)

• Even if all the losses of the world were to be sustained by one of the friends of God, he would still profit thereby (Bahá’u'lláh, Crisis & Victory, p. 154.

.
Why can’t I ever get ahead?

• These are not days of prosperity and triumph. The whole of mankind is in the grip of manifold ills. (Bahá’u'lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá’u'lláh, p. 81.)

• Life in this world is a succession of tests and achievements, of falling short and of making new spiritual advances. Sometimes the course may seem very hard, but one can witness, again and again, that the soul who steadfastly obeys the Law of Bahá’u'lláh, however hard it may seem, grows spiritually, while the one who compromises with the law for the sake of his own apparent happiness is seen to have been following a chimera: he does not attain the happiness he sought, he retards his spiritual advance and often brings new problems upon himself.  (Universal House of Justice, Lights of Guidance, pp. 359-360.)

• Even or odd, thou shalt win the wager.’ The friends of God shall win and profit under all conditions, and shall attain true wealth.  (Bahá’u'lláh, Crisis & Victory, p. 154.)

Why do I keep falling into the same trap, over and over again?

• Just as the earth attracts everything to the centre of gravity, and every object thrown upward into space will come down, so also material ideas and worldly thoughts attract man to the centre of self. Anger, passion, ignorance, prejudice, greed, envy, covetousness, jealousy and suspicion prevent man from ascending to the realms of holiness, imprisoning him in the claws of self and the cage of egotism.  The physical man, unassisted by the divine power, trying to escape from one of these invisible enemies, will unconsciously fall into hands of another. No sooner does he attempt to soar upward than the density of the love of self, like the power of gravity, draws him to the centre of the earth. The only power that is capable of delivering man from this captivity is the power of the Holy Spirit. The attraction of the power of the Holy Spirit is so effective that it keeps man ever on the path of upward ascension.  (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Bahá’í Scriptures, p. 241.)

God must surely be punishing me.

• He will never deal unjustly with any one, neither will He task a soul beyond its power. He, verily, is the Compassionate, the All-Merciful.  (Bahá’u'lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá’u'lláh, p. 106.)

• In addition, we know from the Bahá’í Writings that man’s soul “is independent of all infirmities of body or mind,” and not only continues to exist “after departing from this mortal world”, but progresses “through the bounty and grace of the Lord”. Therefore, an evaluation of man’s material existence and achievements cannot ignore the potential spiritual development stimulated by the individual’s desire to manifest the attributes of God and his response to the exigencies of his life, nor can it exclude the possibility of the operation of God’s mercy in terms of compensation for earthly suffering, in the next life.  (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, 2 December, 1985.)

All I want is what everyone else has:  a family, a job, a home . . .

• The world is but a show, vain and empty, a mere nothing, bearing the semblance of reality. Set not your affections upon it . . . Verily I say, the world is like the vapour in a desert, which the thirsty dreameth to be water and striveth after it with all his might, until when he cometh unto it, he findeth it to be mere illusion. It may, moreover, be likened unto the lifeless image of the beloved whom the lover hath sought and found, in the end, after long search and to his utmost regret, to be such as cannot “fatten nor appease his hunger.” (Bahá’u'lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá’u'lláh, pp. 328-329.)

What good ever comes from tests anyway?

• Were it not for tests, the intellectuals and the faculties of the scholars in great colleges would not develop. Were it not for tests, sparkling gems could not be known from worthless pebbles. Were it not for tests, nothing would progress in this contingent world. (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Divine Art of Living, p. 87.)

• Men who suffer not, attain no perfection. The plant most pruned by the gardeners is that one which, when the summer comes, will have the most beautiful blossoms and the most abundant fruit.  (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Paris Talks, pp. 50-51)

• The more difficulties one sees in the world the more perfect one becomes. The more you plough and dig the ground the more fertile it becomes. The more you cut the branches of a tree the higher and stronger it grows. The more you put the gold in the fire the purer it becomes. The more you sharpen the steel by grinding the better it cuts. Therefore, the more sorrows one sees the more perfect one becomes . . .  The more often the captain of a ship is in the tempest and difficult sailing the greater his knowledge becomes. Therefore I am happy that you have had great tribulations and difficulties… Strange it is that I love you and still I am happy that you have sorrows.  (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Star of the West, Vol. XIV, No. 2, p. 41.)

• How could the [God's] teachers teach and guide others in the way if they themselves did not undergo every species of suffering to which other human beings are subjected?  (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Star of the West, Vol. VII, #11, p. 108.)

• . . . The souls who bear the tests of God become the manifestations of great bounties; for the divine trials cause some souls to become entirely lifeless, while they cause the holy souls to ascend to the highest degree of love and solidity.  (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, 2 December, 1985.)

• They are the means of your spirit growing and developing.  (Shoghi Effendi, Living the Life, pp. 35-36.)

• Suffering is both a reminder and a guide. It stimulates us better to adapt ourselves to our environmental conditions, and thus leads the way to self improvement.   (Shoghi Effendi, Unfolding Destiny, p. 434.)

• Whenever you see tremendous personal problems in your private lives . . . you must remember that these afflictions are part of human life; and, according to our teachings one of their wisdoms is to teach us the impermanence of this world and the permanence of the spiritual bonds that we establish with God, His Prophet, and those who are alive in the faith of God.  (Shoghi Effendi, Unfolding Destiny, pp. 459-60.)

• These tests, even as thou didst write, do but cleanse the spotting of self from off the mirror of the heart, till the Sun of Truth can cast its rays thereon (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá,  p. 182.)

• . . . in this world he must prepare himself for the life beyond. That which he needs in the world of the Kingdom must be obtained here . . . In that world there is need of spirituality, faith, assurance, the knowledge and love of God. These he must attain in this world so that after his ascension from the earthly to the heavenly Kingdom he shall find all that is needful in that eternal life ready for him.  That divine world is manifestly a world of lights; therefore, man has need of  illumination here. That is a world of love; the love of God is essential. It is a world of perfections; virtues, or perfections, must be acquired. That world is vivified by the breaths of the Holy Spirit; in this world we must seek them. That is the Kingdom of everlasting life; it must be attained during vanishing existence . . .

Unless he acquires these forces and attains to these requirements, he will surely be deprived of the life that is eternal. But if he possesses the knowledge of God, becomes ignited through the fire of the love of God, witnesses the great and mighty signs of the Kingdom, becomes the cause of love among mankind and lives in the utmost state of sanctity and holiness, he shall surely attain to second birth, be baptized by the Holy Spirit and enjoy everlasting existence.   (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 226.)

• In considering the effect of obedience to the laws on individual lives, one must remember that the purpose of this life is to prepare the soul for the next. Here one must learn to control and direct one’s animal impulses, not to be a slave to them.  (Universal House of Justice, Lights of Guidance, pp. 359-360.)

Why is everything I do so difficult?

• But regarding the tests: Undoubtedly they must be violent so that those souls who are weak may fall back, while the souls who are firm and sincere may shine forth from the horizon of the Most Great Guidance like unto the sparkling stars.  (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Tablets of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, p. 471.)

Why does God make children suffer?

• As to the subject of babes and infants and weak ones who are afflicted by the hands of oppressors: this contains great wisdom and this subject is of paramount importance. In brief, for those souls there is a recompense in another world and many details are connected with this matter. For those souls that suffering is the greatest mercy of God. Verily that mercy of the Lord is far better and preferable to all the comfort of this world and the growth and development of this place of mortality. If it be the will of God, when thou shalt be present this will be explained in detail by word of mouth.  (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Bahá’í World Faith, p. 372.)

• On this plane of existence, there are many injustices that the human mind cannot fathom. Among these are heart-rending trials of the innocent . . . With regard to the spiritual significance of the suffering of children ‘who are afflicted at the hands of the oppressor’, ‘Abdu’l-Bahá not only states that for those souls ‘the afflictions that they bear in life become a cause for them of . . . an outpouring of divine mercy and bestowal’, He also explains that to be a recipient of God’s mercy is ‘preferable to a hundred thousand earthly comforts’, and He promised that ‘in the world to come a mighty recompense awaiteth such souls’. Much, indeed, might be said upon this theme, and upon how the afflictions that they bear in life become the cause for them of such an outpouring of Divine mercy and bestowal as is preferable to a hundred thousand comforts and to a world of growth and development in this transitory abode . . .  (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, 2 December, 1985.)

Does God even care how much it hurts?

• It is easy to approach the Kingdom of Heaven, but hard to stand firm and staunch within it, for the tests are rigorous, and heavy to bear.  (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, p. 274. )

• However, to those souls who are firm and steadfast, tests are the greatest favours. Consider thou that at the time of an examination in sciences and arts, the dull and lazy pupil finds himself in calamity. But to the intelligent and sagacious student examination in learning produces honour and infinite happiness. Alloyed gold, subjected to the fire, portrays its baseness, while the intensity of the flame enhances the beauty of pure gold. Therefore, tests of the weak souls are calam¬ity and to the veiled ones the cause of their disgrace and humiliation. The point is this, that in the path of Truth every difficulty is made plain and every trial is the matchless bounty.  (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Star of the West, Vol. 2. No. 15, pp. 5-6.)

Is it ever going to get better?

• In winter come the storms, and the great winds blow, but then will follow spring in all its beauty, adorning hill and plain with perfumed plants and red anemones, fair to see. Then will the birds trill out upon the branches their songs of joy, and sermonize in lilting tones from the pulpits of the trees. Ere long shall ye bear witness that the lights are streaming forth, the banners of the realm above are waving, the sweet scents of the All-Merciful are wafted abroad, the hosts of the Kingdom are marching down, the angels of heaven are rushing forward, and the Holy Spirit is breathing upon all those regions . . . This is decreed by the Lord, the Revealer of Verses.  (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, pp. 163-134.)

• You will suddenly find that you have conquered many of the problems which upset you, and then you will wonder why they should have troubled you at all.  (Shoghi Effendi, Living the Life, pp. 35-36.)

• O My servants! Sorrow not if, in these days and on this earthly plane, things contrary to your wishes have been ordained and manifested by God, for days of blissful joy, of heavenly delight, are assuredly in store for you. Worlds, holy and spiritually glorious, will be unveiled to your eyes. You are destined by Him, in this world and hereafter, to partake of their benefits, to share in their joys, and to obtain a portion of their sustaining grace. To each and every one of them you will, no doubt, attain.      (Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 329)

Will I ever see the benefits of these tests in this world?

• In every suffering one can find a meaning and a wisdom. But it is not always easy to find the secret of that wisdom. It is sometimes only when all our suffering has passed that we become aware of its usefulness. What man considers to be evil turns often to be a cause of infinite blessings. And this is due to his desire to know more than he can. God’s wisdom is, indeed, inscrutable to us all, and it is no use pushing too far trying to discover that which shall always remain a mystery to our mind.  (Shoghi Effendi, Unfolding Destiny, p. 434.)

What can I do in the midst of my suffering?

• I bear witness, O my God, that Thou hast created me to know Thee and to worship Thee.  (Bahá’u'lláh, Kitáb-i-Aqdas, p. 100.)

• Therefore, the believers of God and maid-servants of the Merciful must not relax during trial and no disaster must deter their service in the Cause of God.  (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Star of the West, Vol. 2. No. 15, pp. 5-6.)

• You are encouraged to continue to keep in mind the spiritual dimension of your struggles.  (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Star of the West, Vol. XIV, No. 2, p. 41.)

• The more one is severed from the world, from desires, from human affairs, and conditions, the more impervious does one become to the test of God.  (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Star of the West, Book 4, Vol. VI,  #6, p. 108.)

• Clearly, the difficult periods in our lives are not without pur¬pose. Among other things, they offer us a prime opportunity to express our love for Bahá’u'lláh in a meaningful way. It is relatively easy to he a believer when one is not challenged, when one is happy. However, in times of adversity, we must draw upon our inner, spiritual resources.  (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, 23 October, 1994.)

• Convey thou unto the handmaids of the Merciful the message that when a test turneth violent they must stand unmoved, and faithful to their love for Bahá. (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, pp. 163-134.)

• Naturally there will be periods of distress and difficulty, and even severe tests; but if the person turns firmly towards the Divine Manifestation, studies carefully His spiritual teachings and receives the blessings of the Holy Spirit, he will find that in reality these tests and difficulties have been the gifts of God to enable him to grow and develop.  (Shoghi Effendi, Living the Life, pp. 35-36.)

• Therefore, the dear friends of God who have such a broad and clear vision before them are not perturbed by such events, nor are they panic-stricken by such thundering sounds, nor will they face such convulsions with fear and trepidation, nor will they be deterred, even for a moment, from fulfilling their sacred responsibilities.  (Universal House of Justice, Compilation of Compilations, Vol. 1, #326, pp. 166-167.)

• . . . the way to peace and security for you and for humanity as a whole, is through service to the Cause, to which you have so earnestly committed yourself.  (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, 2 December, 1985.)

• Therefore strive that your actions day by day may be beautiful prayers.  Turn towards God, and seek always to do that which is right and noble. Enrich the poor, raise the fallen, comfort the sorrowful, bring healing to the sick, reassure the fearful, rescue the oppressed, bring hope to the hopeless, shelter the destitute!  This is the work of a true Bahá’í, and this is what is expected of him. (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Paris Talks, p. 81.)

• First, through the knowledge of God. Second, through the love of God. Third, through faith. Fourth, through philanthropic deeds. Fifth, through self-sacrifice. Sixth, through severance from this world. Seventh, through sanctity and holiness.  (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 226.

• The working out of God’s Major Plan proceeds mysteriously in ways directed by Him alone, but the Minor Plan that He has given us to execute, as our part in His grand design for the redemption of mankind, is clearly delineated. It is to this work that we must devote all our energies, for there is no one else to do it  (Universal House of Justice, Wellspring of Guidance, pp. 133-134.)

What should my attitude towards tests be?

• O Thou Whose tests are a healing medicine to such as are nigh unto Thee, Whose sword is the ardent desire of all them that love Thee, Whose dart is the dearest wish of those hearts that yearn after Thee, Whose decree is the sole hope of them that have recognized Thy truth! I implore Thee, by Thy divine sweetness and by the splendours of the glory of Thy face, to send down upon us from Thy retreats on high that which will enable us to draw nigh unto Thee. Set, then, our feet firm, O my God, in Thy Cause, and enlighten our hearts with the effulgence of Thy knowledge, and illumine our breasts with the brightness of Thy names.  (Bahá’u'lláh, Prayers and Meditations, pp. 220-221.)

• The troubles of this world pass, and what we have left is what we have made of our souls, so it is to this we must look - to becoming more spiritual, drawing nearer to God, no matter what our human minds and bodies go through.  (Shoghi Effendi, Directives of the Guardian, p. 68.)

Want to know how life coaching can help you apply these quotes to your life situation?  Contact me for a free 30 minute session.

How has this helped give you a new perspective on tests?  Post your comments here:

Overcoming Loneliness – A Bahá’í Approach - Part 2

by Susan Gammage, Baha'i Life Coach

In part 1, I explored some spiritual principles to consider when striving to overcome loneliness.  Sometimes none of this seems to make a difference (or maybe it’s just that I forget to apply all of it!), so to walk the spiritual path with practical feet, here are some other tools I use:

Essential Oils:

Why are they so effective?

When we inhale through the nose, airborne molecules interact with the olfactory organs and, almost immediately, the brain. Molecules inhaled through the nose or mouth are also carried to the lungs and interact with the respiratory system. Thus, inhaled essential oils can affect the body through several systems and pathways.

During inhalation, odor molecules travel through the nose and affect the brain through a variety of receptor sites, one of which is the limbic system, which is commonly referred to as the “emotional brain.”

The limbic system is directly connected to those parts of the brain that control heart rate, blood pressure, breathing, memory, stress levels, and hormone balance (Higley & Higley, 1998). This relationship helps explain why smells often trigger emotions.

I buy mine from Young Living.  You can read more at:  http://www.youngliving.com/en_US/index.html

Although I’d love to be able to buy many more, the ones I currently use to counteract loneliness and feeling sorry for myself include:

• Live with Passion (when I want to remind myself of my intention to “go with the flow” and be “a flame in a dark place”)
• Magnify your Purpose (before every life coaching session!, Assembly meeting, or service opportunity)
• Valor (to unite the disparate voices within)
• Frankincense (to counteract despair)
• Sensation (when I want to enjoy every moment of an activity and enhance my feelings of connectedness)
• Joy (when I want to change my orientation from the physical world to the spiritual).
• Peace and Calming (to counteract anxiety and panic).

Bach Flower Remedies:

Fortunately I have the entire kit, so if you go to this website and fill out the form (it won’t take much time).  http://www.ritecare.com/homeopathic/bach/Open%20Remedy%20Chooser.asp

Have a look at the remedies it suggests for you and if you like, I’d be happy to make up a bottle for you and send it to you.  I’d appreciate $10 to cover the cost of postage and bottle.

Listen to Radio Nur:

I play this Bahá’í radio station all day long, so I can be exposed to uplifting messages, which remind me to turn to God as I sing along:  http://radionur.com/10701.html

Affirmations CD’s:

To counteract 50 years of negative messages programming my subconscious, I now listen to affirmations all night every night, and have their program running in the background on my computer.  The company I buy them from is Think Right Now:  www.thinkroghtnow.com/cmd.asp?af-92300

As you will see from the website, they have a lot to choose from, and they aren’t specific to loneliness.  But whenever I fall victim to feeling sorry for myself, it’s usually the result of wrong thinking, which these affirmations help overcome, so I recommend taking a look at what they have to offer.  I can’t speak highly enough of the CD’s or the company and have written to them twice to say thank you.  You can read my letters here:  http://susangammage.com/main-menu/testimonials-2/for-my-personal-story?preview=true&preview_id=294&preview_nonce=3f6d96d8ec

(my website is undergoing some changes so if this doesn’t work, please let me know)

Although I would like to buy more, the ones I am currently using include:

• Infinite Joy
• Freedom from Depression
• Dissolving Panic and Anxiety
• Releasing Fear of Failure
• Unstoppable Motivation
• Supreme Confidence
• The Leader’s Mindset

Have you read “The Shack” by Wm Paul Young?  It is on the New York Times Bestseller list.  If you haven’t read it, ask around your community.  Someone is bound to have a copy to lend you.  It’s the story of a man who meets with God and given a glimpse of the next world.  In the book, God answers the age-old question about why bad things happen to good people.

The following quotes (attributed to God) really spoke to me.  The comments in brackets are my editorial comments:

“Living unloved (living with violence and abuse of any kind often leaves us feeling unloved) is like clipping a bird’s wings and removing its ability to fly.  Pain (including the emotional pain of loneliness) clips our wings and removes its ability to fly, and if left unresolved for very long, you can almost forget that you were ever created to fly in the first place”. (p. 97)

This reminds me of the Bahá’í prayer which begins:

O God! O God! This is a broken-winged bird and his flight is very slow — assist him so that he may fly toward the apex of prosperity and salvation, wing his way with the utmost joy and happiness throughout the illimitable space, raise his melody in Thy Supreme Name in all the regions, exhilarate the ears with this call, and brighten the eyes by beholding the signs of guidance.   (Abdu’l-Baha, Tablets of the Divine Plan, p. 89)

The following quote was a real turn-around for me in terms of my relationship to the “rules” or “shoulds” of the Bahá’í Faith.  Because I didn’t have good role models for parents in terms of what constitutes good behaviour, I was delighted to find the guidance in the Bahá’í Writings, and clung to it rigidly.  But in doing so, I was missing the “loving God” who is “closer than my life vein” and of course, I was unable to have a relationship with Him.

“Once you have a hierarchy (any hierarchy but in this case, we’re focusing on that between us and God) you need rules to protect and administer it, and then you need law and the enforcement of the rules and you end up with some chain of command or a system of order that destroys relationship rather than promotes it.”  (p. 123)  . . . Rules will never give you answers to the deep questions of the heart and they will never love you.  (only relationships will)  (p. 198)

Of course, we know that our purpose is to “know God and worship Him”.  Obedience comes from our relationship and the grace of God and aligning our will with the will of God.  Being rigid about following the laws only breeds superiority and judgments, which leads to disunity and separates us from God.

When I was putting together the quotes in part 1, I was looking at them with new eyes – those of a loving God – showering down His divine bounty – not telling me what to do.

Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved.  Because if you don’t know that I love you, you cannot trust me.  (p. 126)

So perhaps what all of this is saying, is that it’s hard for us to have the kind of relationship with God which would alleviate our loneliness, because we haven’t had the proper foundation on which to trust Him.  And in order to develop it, we need to focus more on His love and allow it to recreate us (instead of forcing our will on obedience).  We know we’re never going to get it right all the time – the best we can hope for is to strive, little by little, day by day.

What are your thoughts?  Post your comments here:

Overcoming Loneliness – A Bahá’í Approach - Part 1

by Susan Gammage, Baha'i Life Coach

This morning, one of the clients in my Bahá’í-inspired life coaching practice asked me:  “Are you familiar with loneliness?”  She went on to explain the tests she’s had within her family and concluded by asking:  “How do you manage to keep your spirits up so as to be a support to others?  How do you manage to bring Baha’u'llah into your life?  How do you manage to keep Him in the centre of your life?  It seems like so much of who I am needs to be “re-created” … is there still hope?”

I told her that I am divorced and live alone with my two cats.  I have been estranged from my family of origin for over 20 years.  My 25 year old son is working and going to school full time in a city 3 hours away and isn’t able to make time for me.  I’ve moved so often that all of my friends are in other cities (provinces, countries).  In my community, there are only 2 of us who attend Assembly meetings and feasts and in our tiny cluster of 25 souls, most of them are inactive.  In my darkest moments, I wonder: if I died, how long would it take for anyone to notice?  And I think that at age 52, I have potentially another 40 years of living without love.

When I get thinking that way, I’m reminded of this lamentation of Bahá’u'lláh on page 18 of Prayers and Meditations, and frequently use it myself:

Hasten, by Thy grace and bounty, my passing, O my Lord . . .

Yes, I know a thing or two about loneliness!

To help me not fall victim to feeling sorry for myself too often, I have done some research in the Bahá’í Writings, for insights and guidance.  What follows is my response to her.

The first thing to know is that:

There is no harm in thy loneliness in those regions; for verily, the hosts of confirmation are thy help, thy Glorious Lord is thy protector and the angels of the Kingdom are thy fellow-speakers. Glad-tidings be unto thee for this! Blessed art thou for this!   (Abdu’l-Bahá, Tablets of Abdu’l-Bahá v1, p. 61)

Lonely with Unresponsive Family Members

God sees your loneliness and understands the pain you feel when you aren’t able to receive the love and companionship of those closest to you.  I’m not sure from the reference, whose voice this is, or who it’s directed towards, but it’s easy to claim for ourselves:

O my Lord, Thou knowest my sighs, my cries and my anguish, the burning pain because of their separation; my great longing for their meeting; my yearning for their love; my desire for their remembrance and my anxiety to behold them. Day and night their remembrance is my treasure and my rose garden. When night comes my heart loves the memory of their illumined faces. I yearn for them as the nightingale yearns for the beautiful meadows.  (Compilations : Baha’i Scriptures, p. 410)

Here’s a prayer you can pray for your family, who are unable to respond to your needs for companionship:

Behold, then, O my God, my loneliness among Thy servants and my remoteness from Thy friends and Thy chosen ones. I beseech Thee, by the showers of the clouds of Thy mercy, whereby Thou hast caused the blossoms of Thy praise and utterance and the flowers of Thy wisdom and testimony to spring forth in the hearts of all them that have recognized Thy oneness, to supply Thy servants and my kindred with the fruits of the tree of Thy unity, in these days when Thou hast been established upon the throne of Thy mercy. Hinder them not, O my Lord, from attaining unto the things Thou dost possess, and write down for them that which will aid them to scale the heights of Thy grace and favor. Give them, moreover, to drink of the living waters of Thy knowledge, and ordain for them the good of this world and of the world to come.

Thou art, verily, the Lord of Bahá, and the Beloved of his heart, and the Object of his desire, and the Inspirer of his tongue, and the Source of his soul. No God is there but Thee, the Inaccessible, the Most High. Thou art, verily, the Almighty, the Most Exalted, the Ever-Forgiving, the Most Merciful.  (Baha’u'llah : Prayers and Meditations by Baha’u'llah, p. 109-110)

Letting go of past traditions

Bahá’u'lláh came to teach us a new way of being, and despite what we hold most sacred, sometimes this means letting go.

This is the Day when the loved ones of God should keep their eyes directed towards His Manifestation, and fasten them upon what¬soever that Manifestation may be pleased to reveal. Certain traditions of bygone ages rest on no foundations whatever, while the notions entertained by past generations, and which they have recorded in their books, have, for the most part, been influenced by the desires of a corrupt inclination.  (Bahá’u'lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá’u'lláh, pp. 171-172.)

I think that one aspect of letting go of past traditions is letting go of the notion of the idea that “blood is thicker than water.”  Shoghi Effendi tells us:

Deep as are family ties, we must always remember that the spiritual ties are far deeper; they are everlasting and survive death, whereas physical ties, unless supported by spiritual bonds, are confined to this life . . . (Shoghi Effendi, Lights of Guidance, p. 218.)

Here is a prayer I often say, though some friends of mine say that the Báb is asking too much of us . . .

O my God, my Lord and my Master!  I have detached myself from my kindred and have sought through Thee to become independent of all that dwell on earth and ever ready to receive that which is praiseworthy in Thy sight. Bestow on me such good as will make me independent of aught else but Thee, and grant me an ampler share of Thy boundless favours.  Verily Thou art the Lord of grace abounding.  (The Báb, Selections from the Writings of the Báb, p. 209).

So what can you do instead?  ‘Abdul-Bahá gives us some guidance and words of comfort to consider:

If the friends and relatives are keeping themselves at a dis¬tance from thee, be thou not sad, for God is near to thee. Associate thou, as much as thou canst, with the relatives and strangers; display thou loving kindness; show thou forth the utmost patience and resignation. The more they oppose thee, shower thou upon them the greater justice and equity; the more they show hatred and opposition toward thee, challenge thou them with great truthfulness, friendship and rec¬onciliation.  Praise be to God, thou art near to the Kingdom of Abhá! Rest thou assured. With all my soul and spirit, I am thy companion at all moments. Know thou this of a certainty!  (’Abdu’l-Bahá, Tablets of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, pp. 557-558.)

Reflect on the Heroes and Martyrs

In the Writings, we’re often encouraged to reflect upon the heroes and martyrs of the Faith, to guide us in our lives, so this quote might help remind you that your loneliness has a bigger purpose and that God knows and understands, and will make something good come from it:

Furthermore, call to mind the shameful circumstances that have attended the martyrdom of Husayn. Reflect upon his loneliness, how, to outer seeming, none could be found to aid him, none to take up his body and bury it. And yet, behold how numerous, in this day, are those who from the uttermost corners of the earth don the garb of pilgrimage, seeking the site of his martyrdom, that there they may lay their heads upon the threshold of his shrine! Such is the ascendancy and power of God! Such is the glory of His dominion and majesty!  (Bahá’u'lláh, Kitáb-i-Iqán, p. 128)

The following quote reminds us of the Greatest Holy Leaf, Bahiyyih Khánum, so reading the book about her life might help draw you closer to her and away from your loneliness:

She was a real mother to every one of us, a comforter in our pains and anxieties, and a friend in our moments of utter loneliness and despair. (Compilations : Bahiyyih Khánum, p. 68)

Understand your role as a spiritual “pioneer”

In this plan, the term “pioneer” is used more broadly than we have seen before.  I know that you are a true pioneer of new ways of interacting with the institutions in your city, so here is a reminder of your “marching orders.

To remain at one’s post, to undergo sacrifice and hardship, loneliness and, if necessary, persecution, in order to hold aloft the torch of Bahá’u'lláh, is the true function of every pioneer. (Shoghi Effendi, Unfolding Destiny, p. 336)

Here is a prayer, which puts it into focus:

O Lord! Dispel the darkness of these corrupt desires, and illumine the hearts with the lamp of Thy love through which all countries will erelong be enlightened. Confirm, moreover, Thy loved ones, those who, leaving their homelands, their families and their children, have, for the love of Thy Beauty, traveled to foreign countries to diffuse Thy fragrances and promulgate Thy teachings. Be Thou their companion in their loneliness, their helper in a strange land, the remover of their sorrows, their comforter in calamity. Be Thou a refreshing draught for their thirst, a healing medicine for their ills and a balm for the burning ardor of their hearts.
Verily, Thou art the Most Generous, the Lord of grace abounding, and, verily, Thou art the Compassionate and the Merciful.  (Abdu’l-Baha : Tablets of the Divine Plan, page 59)

Be grateful

Here is something you can say, when you have a hard time remembering to be thankful for your loneliness:

Unto Him do I render thanks and praise for the things He hath ordained, for My loneliness, and the anguish I suffer at the hands of these men who have strayed so far from Him. I have patiently sustained, and will continue to sustain, the tribulation that touched Me, and will put My whole trust and confidence in God.  (Baha’u'llah : Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 274)

Say Prayers

Here is a prayer that always brings me comfort:

O my Lord, my Beloved, my Desire!  Befriend me in my loneliness and accompany me in my exile; remove my sorrow, cause me to be devoted to Thy Beauty, withdraw me from all else save Thee, attract me through Thy fragrances of holiness, cause me to be associated in Thy Kingdom with those who are severed from all else save Thee and who long to serve Thy Sacred Threshold and who stand to work in Thy Cause, and enable me to be one of Thy maid-servants who have attained to Thy good pleasure. Verily, Thou art the Gracious, the Generous!  (Abdu’l-Baha : Tablets of Abdu’l-Baha Volume 3, p. 619)

Study prayers for clues

In the following prayer, we’re reminded that God sees our loneliness and can heal and transform it.  As you study the prayer you will see that by asking for certain things, ‘Abdul-Bahá is telling us what we can do to allay it:

• Turn to God in prayer
• Let your heart overflow with love for His creatures
• Be a promoter of concord amongst His loved ones
• Nestle beneath the shade of His protecting wings
• Teach and praise God
• Remember God and be forgetful of self and ever mindful of what is His

The serenity prayer comes to mind:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference (or in this case, to know what belongs to you and what belongs to God).

Here’s the prayer:

O Lord, my God and my Haven in my distress! My Shield and my Shelter in my woes! My Asylum and Refuge in time of need and in my loneliness my Companion! In my anguish my Solace, and in my solitude a loving Friend! The Remover of the pangs of my sorrows and the Pardoner of my sins!

Wholly unto Thee do I turn, fervently imploring Thee with all my heart, my mind and my tongue, to shield me from all that runs counter to Thy will in this, the cycle of Thy divine unity, and to cleanse me of all defilement that will hinder me from seeking, stainless and unsullied, the shade of the tree of Thy grace.  Have mercy, O Lord, on the feeble, make whole the sick, and quench the burning thirst.

Gladden the bosom wherein the fire of Thy love doth smolder, and set it aglow with the flame of Thy celestial love and spirit.  Robe the tabernacles of divine unity with the vesture of holiness, and set upon my head the crown of Thy favor.  Illumine my face with the radiance of the orb of Thy bounty, and graciously aid me in ministering at Thy holy threshold.

Make my heart overflow with love for Thy creatures and grant that I may become the sign of Thy mercy, the token of Thy grace, the promoter of concord amongst Thy loved ones, devoted unto Thee, uttering Thy commemoration and forgetful of self but ever mindful of what is Thine.

O God, my God! Stay not from me the gentle gales of Thy pardon and grace, and deprive me not of the wellsprings of Thine aid and favor. ‘Neath the shade of Thy protecting wings let me nestle, and cast upon me the glance of Thine all-protecting eye.

Loose my tongue to laud Thy name amidst Thy people, that my voice may be raised in great assemblies and from my lips may stream the flood of Thy praise.  Thou art, in all truth, the Gracious, the Glorified, the Mighty, the Omnipotent.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Baha’i Prayers, p. 30-31)

Be in Constant Communion with God

In the following prayer, we’re reminded of our need to focus on being of service and in order to do this, we need to be in constant communion with God.  When we allow Him to be our companion, we live in the spiritual realms and our physical loneliness slips away.

O Lord! Strengthen my back, enable me to serve Thee with the utmost endeavor, and leave me not to myself, lonely and helpless in these regions.  O Lord! Grant me communion with Thee in my loneliness, and be my companion in these foreign lands.  Verily, Thou art the Confirmer of whomsoever Thou willest in that which Thou desirest, and, verily, Thou art the All-Powerful, the Omnipotent. (Abdu’l-Baha : Tablets of the Divine Plan, Page 47)

Use the Greatest Name

The original of the following passage has never been found, so it’s not considered authentic text, but it certainly grabbed my attention and helped me to understand the wisdom of its use.

Yá Bahá’u’l-Abhá!

In this cry, all the cries of the universe are sounded, and the chord of Divine Reality is struck.  The shout “Yá Bahá’u’l-Abhá” in this, the Day of its birth is of more profit to thee than all the knowledge of science and all the wealth of the earth.  It is the rhythm of progress, the chord of creation, the melody of eternity, and the password to the Kingdom of God.  Therefore, use it to establish thyself in the realm of Divine Trust.  Speak it in thy solitude, cry it in thy joy, murmur it in thy grief and chant it in thy weakest moments – and it will give thee strength.

It is the cry that will bring the Supreme Concourse to the door of thy life, and which stations the loving trust of Abhá about thy soul.  It opens the heavenly mysteries, manifests the colours, and solves the riddles of life.  It absorbs all, encircles all, includes all.

To cry that phrase “O Thou Glory of the Most Glorious: is to sing in harmony with the Supreme Concourse, and to harmonize thyself with the holy “I Am” in His Court of divine omnipotent truth.  It holds all there is of form, of spirit and of the world of creative thought.

This, the most Great Name, carries the highest vibrations, which make manifest the wisdom of the spiritual worlds.  This utterance produces a spiritual result beyond all idle fancies and vain imaginations.

Yá Bahá’u’l-Abhá!

Give it to God

Here, the Báb is praying to God, asking Him to make other people aware of His loneliness – so we too can go to God and trust Him to work on our behalf:

Thou seest, O my Lord, my dwelling-place in the heart of this mountain and Thou dost witness my forbearance . . . Yet the sorrow of solitude and loneliness prompteth me to invoke Thee through this prayer, perchance Thy trusted servants may become aware of my lamentations, may supplicate unto Thee on my behalf, and Thou wouldst graciously answer their prayers as a token of Thy grace and Thy favour.  (Fire and Light Excerpts from the Bahá’í Sacred Writings, p. V)

In conclusion, I don’t think it’s possible to escape from our loneliness.  It’s but one of the tests we are given in this world, but perhaps this quote will help remind you of a context to put it into:

Men may be made in the image of God, yet (as the presents it) the history of the tribes and peoples and nations of the world, of the Hebrews and the Gentiles, reflects at no time the order and harmony and the happiness of a divine world. It is a tale of turmoil and vicissitude, of struggle and trouble, of sorrow and loneliness and penitence, of bitter shame, and hopes lost and hearts broken.

Men dream of heaven and peace, they long for a better order of things than that which they have made. Prophetic promises of a great felicity, of a sure deliverance from the fears of life, and from its discords and its wrongs and its despairs, buoy up the fainting hearts of the generations and grow with the passing centuries more full and clear. But no nation ever walks with a whole heart in the ways of God or in the sunshine of His presence; by the multitudes happiness is only seen if at all in faint and far-off glimpses [but] . . . A happy ending to the history of man is from the beginning assured by the might of the One Sovereign Will who brought all things into existence. (George Townsend, Heart of the Gospel, p. 20)

In the words of ‘Abdul-Bahá, “This too shall pass.”

For more information on material ideas for combatting loneliness, please see part 2, to be posted in a couple of days.

In the meantime, what are your thoughts?  Post your comments here: